CREATE AN OFFICIAL HOLIDAY

DOES THE FESTIVUS MAXIMUS TEMPLE RECOGNIZE ANY HOLIDAYS OTHER THAN FESTIVUS?

Absolutely, we just aren't sure what they are yet. In that regard, we're open to ideas (and, really, how many of those other [obviously inferior] religions seek meaningful input from their unwashed practioners?).

WHAT TO YOU MEAN THAT YOU'RE "OPEN TO IDEAS" FOR HOLIDAYS?

As this is our "growth" phase, we're currently encouraging YOU, our dedicated followers, to create a holiday for us to recognize and celebrate. Here are the rules for holiday creation:

1. Your holiday must have a name. You are encouraged, but not required, to include the name of an FMT Saint (or Sainte) somewhere in the name of your holiday. For example, you can name your holiday "St. [PUT NAME HERE] Day." This would demonstrate an utter and complete lack of imagination, but is acceptable nonetheless. Also acceptable are such holidays as "The Feast of St. [PUT NAME HERE]" or "St. [PUT NAME HERE]'s Beer Bacchanalia" or anything else that seems sufficiently holidayesque. But try to be creative. Creativity ain't a sacrament, but it is close.

2. You must designate your holiday to occur on the same date (or dates [you can block off up to one week]) each year. None of this "every third Saturday in March" or "the first full moon following baseball's opening day" stuff, because we're far too lazy to do calculations. (If we were any good at math, we wouldn't have started a religion, now would we?)

3. Although you may designate as many rituals to occur on your day as you would like, at least one observance ritual MUST (that's: MUST) include beer (preferably the consumption thereof, although other possibilities [such as the sacrificing of unopened beer] are also acceptable). It is perfectly acceptable to designate a particular beer (say, Gordon by Oskar Blues Brewery), beer style (say, lager), place of beer origin (say, Belgium) or brewery (say, Samuel Adams) as the preferred beer for your ritual.

4. All holiday names and rituals must be at most PG-13 rated. This is, after all, a family religion.

5. Until we've completely filled our calendar, you must select a day that hasn't been selected yet.

6. You are permitted, but not required, to create a back-story for your holiday. Your back-story may (but is not required to) explain the reason for your rituals and/or the reason your holiday is named whatever it is named. Again, creativity is encouraged.

7. Post your recommendation (including holiday name, celebration date and back-story) somewhere on one of our blog pages and, if it passes muster, we'll officially recognize your holiday, give it its own blog page, and put it on our OFFICIAL TEMPLE CALENDAR.

THE OFFICIAL FMT HOLIDAY CALENDAR

WE WILL HAPPILY LINK TO ANY VIDEOS DEPICTING ANY FMT HOLIDAY CELEBRATION.

JANUARY - no holidays yet.

FEBRUARY - no holidays yet.

MARCH - no holidays yet.

APRIL - no holidays yet.

MAY - no holidays yet.

JUNE - no holidays yet.

JULY - no holidays yet.

AUGUST - no holidays yet.

SEPTEMBER - no holidays yet.

OCTOBER - no holidays yet.

NOVEMBER - no holidays yet.

DECEMBER
23 - FESTIVUS CELEBRATION

WELCOME TO THE FESTIVUS MAXIMUS TEMPLE

(Bucky "Buck" Buckman, Pastor)


Have you ever wanted a Saint to be named after you (or after your cat)? Have you ever wanted people to seek guidance from you in your area of expertise? Have you ever wanted to publicly demonstrate feats of strength or air your grievances? Have you ever wanted to celebrate the sacrament of beer? If you've answered "yes" to any of these questions then have I got a Temple for you: the FESTIVUS MAXIMUS TEMPLE.

WHAT IS FESTIVUS?

According to Wikipedia, FESTIVUS is a non-denominational, apolitical holiday to be celebrated by those frustrated or jaded with the commercialism and pressure surrounding the Christmas/ Hanukkah/ Kwanzaa season. See WIKI ENTRY. And, of course, if it is written in Wikipedia, it must be true.

WHAT IS THE FESTIVUS MAXIMUS TEMPLE (aka, "FMT")?

According to Wikipedia, the FESTIVUS MAXIMUS TEMPLE ("FMT") is the non-demoninational religion practiced by those frustrated or jaded with the commercialism and pressure surrounding all of the other (obviously inferior) religions in the world. FESTIVUS (December 23rd) is the FMT's primary holiday. See WIKI ENTRY. And, of course, if it is written in Wikipedia, it must be true.

OUR CATECISM

1. THE LORD CREATED BEER. AND IT WAS GOOD.

2. OUR MEMBERSHIP CREATES OUR HOLIDAYS. Clip HERE for details.

3. That's pretty much it.